I’m looking through the classifieds on some well-known career placement sites, and I’m seeing some of the same stupid things over and over again. Eventually, the outrages piled up until I felt compelled to point out their idiocies. Hiring managers, don’t let these happen to you!
Rock Stars — What’s the sudden interest in rock stars lately? I see plenty of ads for sales rock stars, web design rock stars, even a Unix system admin rock star. (Huh?) Listen, rock stars are prima donnas – they think they are very good, often nowhere near as good as they actually are. They are totally self-interested and often unwilling to put in the grunt work needed to get jobs done. Think Jim Morrison or Ashley Simpson – would you want them on your team? Knock it off already with the rock stars.
- Ninjas — Similar to rock stars, I’m starting to ads looking for sales ninjas etc. Hey, you do realize that ninjas are mercenaries that kill for money? Do you really want to associate with that kind of candidate? Especially if you piss them off?
- Kitchen Sink ad — These make me laugh every time. The ad asks for a laundry list of skills that are mutually exclusive in the real world, like heavy programming AND heavy marketing or a combination of skill sets nobody would have (and if anyone did, they couldn’t possibly be any good at any of them.) Best of all, sometimes they ask of unrealistic experience levels (like 5 years experience with 2 year old technology). This all just reeks of ignorance.
- Lowballers — This is most frustrating, postings that ask for serious skill sets but advertise a ridiculously low pay rate. Pony up, dudes – you have no idea what these skills are worth, and you’re trying to trick some desperate job seeker. You’ll either get someone who knows their stuff and resents the pay, or someone too inexperienced to know their worth who won’t know enough to really help you. Either way, this is no way to run a business.
- Slavers — I see these ads occasionally, along the lines of: “I have a great idea for a website. You do all the programming for free, and we’ll split the profits later on.” You know what? You’re asking for slave labor. Programmers with that kind of time already have gigs where we do alot of work for free, it’s called PLAYING and LEARNING. For SEO folks, this is even stupider. Why would I use my SEO skills to drive qualified traffic to your website when I can do that for my own? We have something in this country called the 13th amendment, bud – pay for services and keep your “alleged” profits.
Stop pulling these stunts when you post your job ads, and you just might get some decent candidates for a change.